Summer

Summer... a time to slow down and enjoy even the simplest things. 

(read: inflatable pool in back yard)

I mean, who doesn't want to lay in a pool full of cold water 

straight from the hose and grass clippings?

It seems like we're doing a lot this summer. We have trips planned, family to visit, the kids have day camp, I'm creating summer buckets filled with activities for the kids, we're getting pool passes, planning play dates, cleaning out clutter and things we no longer need, taking care of our newly landscaped yard... but the things I'm doing are all actually focused on slowing down, simplifying life and connecting with others (you know, since connect is my word for the year). 

As summer starts, I hope you're all able to think about how you want to spend it. I haven't always done that and at the end of summer I was always disappointed that I did so little of what I meant to do. 

Oh, to be a kid again...

I'm determined to make this summer different. I don't know if it's because I have two children in school and I want to make sure their summers are awesome, or if it's because I have a birthday coming up that I'm not looking forward to... (It's not 40, FYI). I'm sure it's a little of both. Whatever the motivation, you can bet that you won't find us inside watching Frozen, playing the Wii or Angry Birds, maybe not even a board game. There's fun to be had outside our home. Things to experience with each other and our friends and family. Wish us luck and many summer adventures!

What do you have planned this summer? I'd love to hear ideas on how to make the most of summer. 

Shadows... we could do this all day

The Highlight Reel

In my "Wow" post I quoted my friend who mentioned "The Highlight Reel". That's how she thinks of her Instagram account. The best in her life. I'd say that's the majority of what we all post to social media. The good, pretty, special, endearing moments in our lives, regardless of the number of "friends" or "followers" we have. 

Silly selfies with my Bubby Boo.

The obligatory cute boots in snow. 

 

Fabulous food

(spinach salad with cherry tomatoes, pan roasted brussel sprouts, grilled chicken and hummus... although someone pointed out that the top piece of chicken looks like a cow looking right at the camera!)

I see nothing wrong with having a highlight reel. Be thankful and positive for all to see!  But as with all things, it comes down to intentions. And maybe in the case of social media it comes down to the intentions of the "friend" or "follower" more than the owner of the highlight reel. 

For me, I connect with my "friends" and I gain inspiration from those I "follow". And when I'm looking at social media, there are times I have to remind myself of those things as I feel that subconscious "social media induced depression" start to kick in. I remind myself why I'm "there" rather than simply switching over to Candy Crush or my email or deciding to shut it down because it puts my perspective back where I want it. Back to connecting or being inspired. 

Another thing about this highlight reel... I have one and it's completely staged and cropped and filtered. Rarely am I able to claim #nofilter or #noedit there.  If you just looked at my personal Instagram account you'd think everything was nice, tidy, fashionable, cute and snuggly. I can assure you it's not. Those pictures of clutter on the blog's Instagram and Facebook accounts are from my own home. I definitely don't need to go far to find less than perfect things! Here's my most recent post that participates in the most recent @uneditedlifeproject photo challenge #uneditedselfie: 

I have a few convenient reasons for not wearing my outfits when I post them. 1. I don't own a full length mirror in an area with enough light to get a picture. 2. I can't imagine what my husband would say if I asked him to take a picture of me for my outfit post every day! He's not a big fan of social media (doesn't even have a Facebook account!). 3. I know that laying out my outfits is easier to see and more appealing in photos.

But the less convenient, more difficult to deal with reasons for not posting the "full body shot" (yes, read it like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite) are 1. My hair is pretty much always up in a pony tail or clip because this momma ain't got time for doin' hair, and I haven't mastered the top knot. (Ok, I haven't even attempted the top knot.) 2. This would also mean that I'd need to put on makeup at an inconvenient-for-me time of day. 3. (This one is the REAL reason) I've had 3 kids, all by c-section, and haven't been able to get back into shape.  Honestly, it's been brutal on me because it's so much harder to find the time to exercise and prep meals to help me get back to where I need to be. It's frustrating. At times I'm so disappointed with myself. The last thing I want is pictures of me looking the way I do. 

So there it is, folks. My #uneditedselfie and my big plan. Wish me luck... I hope to be posting results to my highlight reel soon.

"I'm not having a bad day"

I said that this blog was about being real, so here's the real of my day: Today about did me in.

My kids woke up WAY too early for a day off of school. They aren't old enough to get their own breakfast or go for long periods unsupervised. So, early to rise it was.

Our kids are into playing Wii Sports Resort, so that went on after breakfast. We're trying to teach them how to win and lose gracefully and that there should be no whining and crying when it's time to turn it off. After today's episode, we need to add to the list that if an adult is trying to show you how to play the game, you don't cry and scream and repeatedly yell, "I will do it! I can do it myself! Don't touch my remote!!!"

We went sledding... that was the high point of the day.

We came home, ate lunch and sent the older kids to the back yard to play, but no one wanted to go outside (you know, since there's no hill and the snow isn't as abundant as it has been). Sorry kids. Mommy NEEDS you to go outside. They stayed there for about 30 minutes. Long enough for me to make two phone calls (one of which should have been made 2 weeks ago). 

They come in and play a game with daddy. Yay! They cry and scream at the end of it. Boo. Dinner time. More crying, screaming and fighting. Boo again. The middle child was so in orbit, IN ORBIT, I tell you, just about hyperventilating, telling me she's going to throw up (she didn't), over having to eat grilled chicken. It took her about 30 minutes to get over it. Super boo. She calms down then goes to play in the same room as the other two. Then the oldest hits the middle child in the face with a car, on purpose, because she won't leave him alone. BOO.

Somewhere in the middle of it all I had to, HAD TO, disconnect myself from it. You can absorb only so much, take responsibility for the insanity, attempt to make it better/fix the problem (mommies are very susceptible to doing these things). But then there comes a point where you have to realize that YOU are not having the bad day. She is. He is. Not you.

Now, I've said before that this isn't a Mommy Blog, and I mean it. So stay with me.

Have you ever been so involved in a project or event or relationship that you felt that its success or failure depended on you. That if it didn't go well that you were to blame and fingers would be pointed at you and it would certainly be detrimental to your reputation? Did this pressure weigh on you and make you a little crazy? What if you were able to take a step back and say, "I'm not having a bad day. This ____________ is."  Would the pressure and tension subside a little? Would you be able to empathize with the other people involved and maybe connect with them a little better? 

I wish I could say I realized I wasn't having a bad day earlier than I did. I may have been able to head off a few tantrums and curb some dinner time anxiety (probably my own). And I definitely would have been able to connect with my kids better. The good news is, there's always tomorrow.

What are you so involved in that you could benefit taking a step back to look at it and see that it's separate from you? I'd love to hear. I think we all would. Because we need to hear that someone else is experiencing the same thing. 

For more Unedited Life Project photos and commentary, follow @uneditedlifeproject on Instagram or visit www.instagram.com/uneditedlifeproject

Follow Unedited Life Project on Facebook at www.facebook.com/uneditedlifeproject

When Lightening Strikes

Did you make a New Year's resolution? There are so many kinds to choose from. There's the health/weight loss goal. The make-a-list-and-check-them-off approach. There's always the resolution to do good and volunteer somewhere. And then there's the introspective, think long and hard about it, kind. I wish I could say I was all introspective when I chose that one word to dwell on for the year, keep at the front of my mind and make it a daily part of my life. I didn't though. It more or less hit me like the proverbial bolt of lightening. 

It happened during my last MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting. (I hope you've realized this isn't a Mommy Blog. But just in case you haven't, it's not.) One of the other women shared her story of how she has spent her life comparing herself to others and where that got her and how she keeps that in check. (I don't want to give it away just in case I can convince her to share her story here.) I've got to say, people. Her honesty and transparency was powerful. Not one of us moved while she was speaking. I'm not sure I was even breathing. After she shared, we watched a video from MOPS International. I don't remember the name of the author/blogger that was interviewed. (Total fail... I'll call my MOPS coordinator and find out.) She mentioned that same bit of "social media induced depression" we've heard about in the media and said that we become depressed because we are comparing ourselves and our lives to the things and people we see that are edited, staged, contrived and touched up. When she said instead of comparing ourselves to others we should connect with others, I had it. CONNECT. That's my word.

And, seriously, it was like everything fell into place. I went home and made an outline (um, haven't done that since high school) of who I wanted to connect with, how, when and what I was going to do to make sure I was connected in real life, not just virtual life. 

I need to connect with people... REAL, physical, right in front of me people. Not through social media (oh, the irony). But I knew I needed to start Unedited Life Project because this thing about what social media does to use needed to be dealt with, and I'm not one for letting things like that go.

When I told my husband about my lightening bolt experience and starting the blog and the crazy amount of people that joined @uneditedlifeproject on Instagram after @karlareed's moment of honesty, he asked, "What is it that makes us want transparency?" Being the philosophical genius that I am (yes, you should laugh at that), I told my husband, "Transparency, however small, creates connection. And connection paves the way for relationship. And we were made to be in relationship." (I was so surprised at my eloquence I even said, "Wow. I should probably go write that down.")

There it is. I plan to be intentional to connect with people this year. So, if you know me, look out, because I'm coming for you. And although it may not be your word for the year or on your list of resolutions for 2014, I hope you're willing to be even a little transparent in order to connect with those around you. From what I've seen so far on Instagram, through this blog and through my intentional connections in the past week, good and encouraging things come from doing just that.

For more Unedited Life Project photos and commentary, follow @uneditedlifeproject on Instagram or visit www.instagram.com/uneditedlifeproject

Follow Unedited Life Project on Facebook at www.facebook.com/uneditedlifeproject